Lindsay Lohan to host SNL; couldn’t be worse than Daniel Radcliffe (or could it?)

Lindsay Lohan is expected to make a triumphant return to the spotlight, starting off by hosting “Saturday Night Live.” It will be Lohan’s fourth time to host the late-night comedy show, having made her last appearance on the show in 2006. Recent years have not been too kind to Lohan: from her “fire-crotch” incident back in 2006, to the abysmal I Know Who Killed Me (whoever saw that movie fails at life, by the way), Lohan’s reacquaintance with the spotlight will hopefully begin soon. After all, there’s only so many AA meetings you can attend.Who the fuck Is Jeremy Lin?

Jeremy Lin could be an alien, dropped from some mysterious other world that prides itself in creating court-destroying behemoths. Whether you have “Linsanity” or not, you can’t deny that the Harvard sensation puts the team on his back. Recently, Lin contributed to the Dallas Mavericks’ first loss of the season, breaking the team’s six-game winning streak, and solidifying Lin’s position as one of the NBA’s most valued players. Even President Obama supports Lin: “He’s very impressed and fully up to speed,” said Obama’s Press Secretary Jay Carney, in regards to the president keeping up with the Knicks rookie. If you do not know who Lin is by now, definitely reevaluate your life; catching “Linsanity” is what’s hot right now.

Tightrope walker to attempt first crossing of Niagara Falls

Yes, you read that correctly. 33-year-old Nik Wallenda, a member of the Flying Wallenda family of daredevils, will attempt a tightrope walk over Niagara Falls, clearing the way for the stunt some time during the summer. “It’s been a dream of mine since I was six years old,” said Wallenda during an interview with Reuters. “I’ve done walks farther and higher; this will be the most iconic. Niagara Falls has been the scene of many other daredevil-related events, including the unfortunate death of Captain Matthew Webb back in 1883. Hopefully Wallenda won’t have a similar outcome, because that would obviously suck.