There are a lot of myths surrounding the concept of bisexuality. Some of them true, some of them not so true. One of the biggest misconceptions regarding bisexuality is that it isn’t real.
As if bis are some sort of sexual Bigfoot or Loch Ness Monster, many people, the majority of them straight, view bisexuals as sexual deviants, perverts who are just exploiting any opportunity that comes their way. To many, they are in a class lower than regular homosexuals.
There are mixed emotions about bisexuals even amongst gays. Regardless of whom you ask, there seems to be a general request directed towards these particular members of society and that’s to pick a side and stick with it.
But it isn’t so simple, as much of life isn’t black or white. This kind of thinking, especially when it comes from other gays, is hurtful and unnecessary. As anyone who’s struggled with their sexuality can tell you, it’s painful and confusing enough to figure out this stuff on your own, much less have others pressure you or to question the decisions you’ve made.
So as we journey upon our path of sexual freedom and liberation, let’s debunk some commonly held myths about these beautiful creatures.
You have to pick a side
Uh, no you don’t. No one does. In life, there are many shades of gray, and that holds true for love and sex. The fact that someone feels compelled to get another to chose a definitive side shows a lack of understanding and flexibility. Don’t indulge these people.
As Suzy Nextdoor, who asked that her real name be changed, learned the hard way, the gay community can be the hardest on bis.
“I feel like the gay community accepts me as long as I’m dating a woman or single,” said Nextdoor. Nextdoor also goes on to explain that as long as her relationships with men are in the past, she’s a welcomed member of the club, but as soon as she takes an active interest in men, she’s shunned by her own kind.
“They feel like you’re just kind of posing or exploiting” opportunities to be with both sexes, but Nextdoor protests. “I think it’s bullshit for you to have to pick a side.”
There’s no such thing as bisexuality; there’s only gay or straight
“We’re all inherently bisexual; which I know is a very controversial statement,” said Nextdoor.
Whether or not you agree, people who do believe this have a right to their views. This sentiment might not even be sexual in nature, as Nextdoor believes that it’s possible to be attracted to someone, but not sexually attracted to them.
“We’re all attracted to attractive people,” said Nextdoor, and what can make for an attraction are the qualities you look for in an ideal mate. If someone has the same qualities that you look for in a person and they happen to be of the same sexual assignment, you’re more likely to develop an attraction to that person.
Bis are either really confused or opportunistic pervs
“I think people see it as we’re just whores,” said Nextdoor. Which simply isn’t true. Bisexuals, just like hetero- or homosexuals, have a very distinct and unique sexual and romantic radar. But this line of thinking can baffle even people like Nextdoor.
“I don’t know why people believe that” bisexuals are confused or whores, said Nextdoor. She also goes on to explain that this type of thinking usually comes from certain types of people, people who live comfortably within the bubble of societal acceptance.
“It might be people who have never had their orientation challenged,” said Nextdoor. Nextdoor also goes on to dissect why people feel they have the right to challenge another’s orientation at all.
“We live in a country full of people feeling like they have the right to do whatever the hell they want to,” said Nextdoor. But that doesn’t make it right. You know what they say about assuming!
Bisexuals can’t stay faithful
“Dating bis is harder if you’re insecure,” said Nextdoor. As Nextdoor points out, it’s not that bisexuals are attracted to twice as many people, but rather they are attracted to a wider range of people.
“I don’t know that I’m attracted to twice as many people as the rest of the population,” said Nextdoor. The level of your sex drive is the same, regardless of whom you’re attracted to.
If you do have a relationship with someone who is bisexual, make sure that you are secure in your connection with them, or else you’ll feel like you’re competing with more of the general population.
“That’s what happened with my ex. She couldn’t handle it,” said Nextdoor.
So the next time you start questioning the validity of someone’s bisexuality, stop and think about how you would like it if someone told you that your sexuality didn’t exist or that you are a whore simply for being gay or straight. My guess is that you’re not going to agree with them.